toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize