If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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