just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
