so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
