somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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