If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize