Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My dad is sitting where you rode me
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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