but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
