she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She is in my trunk
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
