Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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