Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you didnt know i had herpes?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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