I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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