Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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