True but thats because hes a fetus.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
