I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
