I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
