We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
