hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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