Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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