using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
