Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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