Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize