you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
