i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
