YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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