didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
