Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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