sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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