I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize