we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
