It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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