It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
