So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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