from now on my penis is your penis
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
