I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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