are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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