So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
