Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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