The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
