Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
