Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize