i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
