how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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