I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
