I need help removing her.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
