You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
