Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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