she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I need to calm my uterus...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
