Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
