i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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