Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
