Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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