he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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