dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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