i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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