sorry about calling you the devil all night.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
