How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
