I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
its not stalking. its research.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
