There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
