Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
