Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
farters have to be the big spoon...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Randomize
