UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
